


The Normandy's Girl Club

by SeraphHT



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Banter, Feelz, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Gossip, Humour, girl stuff, girl talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-04-26 09:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4999114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphHT/pseuds/SeraphHT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What starts out as a drink and chat evolves to something a little bigger; the Normandy's girl club. They gather in Shepard's cabin every few days, to laugh, drink, share secrets and maybe even stir a little trouble. ME2 timeline. </p><p>This is my attempt at a friendship/humour fic, with plenty of banter, feelz and adventures from every girl's ambitious bucket list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head for a while. I wanted a friendship fic that was hilarious and light-hearted. I'll try to keep Shepard as general as possible. Everyone's Shepard is different and I want a reader to feel as though their own Shepard is the character in the story.
> 
> This first chapter takes place after Miranda's loyalty mission.

Shepard went to her private terminal and opened her email, a normal thing she usually did an hour or so before she settled in bed for the night cycle. As she read the usual emails—words of thanks from civilians who reminded her what she was fighting for, spam emails which were so obviously fake they made her wonder where the hell they got her address from—she noticed a message from none other than Miranda Lawson.

The email was very short. Huh, Miranda wanted to see her in private. Reaching out to the comm, she hoped Kelly was still working. “Kelly? Please send Miranda up to my quarters.”

“Of course, Shepard.”

The commander murmured thanks and rose from her seat, walking down the steps before sitting down on the one-seater next to her sofa. Just as she was about to pour herself a drink, the entrance opened and Miranda walked in.

“Hello,” Shepard greeted, her voice light and a smile gracing her face. She gestured the seats in front of her. “Sit down. There something you want to talk about?”

“It’s not important, but I’d like to say this without any bugs or listening devices recording our conversations,” Miranda crossed her arms and leaned her weight on one foot. She didn’t move from her place in front of the aquarium above the steps.

“Alright,” Shepard sipped on her drink.

That was when Miranda’s stoic expression softened and her eyes fell to the floor. “I…wanted to thank you. For helping me with Oriana. She never would’ve been safe if it weren’t for you, Shepard.”

“Anytime, Miranda,” Shepard nodded, her voice sincere, smile growing wider. “You never told me what you two talked about.”

“She’s smart, like me. Funny, too, though that’s not a trait we share.” Miranda’s lips tugged upwards at the mention of her sibling. Her eyes met Shepard’s. “She’s…wonderful, Commander. Thank you for convincing me to talk to her. And for helping me.”

Shepard nodded. “As I said before, you’re welcome, Miranda. Would you like a drink?”

“Oh, it’s alright, I don’t drink alcohol,” Miranda declined politely. “Well, at least, not when I know we’d probably go on a mission tomorrow.”

“Relax, this isn’t alcoholic at all,” Shepard assured. Miranda raised an eyebrow, indicating the champagne-styled bottle and wine-coloured liquid in her glass. Realizing this, the commander laughed. “I know what it looks like. The bottle makes it look like wine but it’s not. I’m actually drinking it because Kelly recommended it to me.”

“And?”

“It has this fruity taste. Reminds me of grape. Or blackcurrant. Not sure. But it’s fruity.” Following this sentence, Shepard leaned forward, took a glass from a drawer in the coffee table, and proceeded to pour it out. “Drink with me?”

Miranda seemed to contemplate it for a while, before giving in and walking down the steps. “I guess it would be rude to say no.”

“That’s more like it,” Shepard leaned back as Miranda sat down on the other one-seater. She watched the other take a sip of her drink, and from her face, she could tell Miranda approved of its taste. “So, if you don’t mind me asking…”

“Just ask, Commander.”

“I know you and Jacob worked together for a while. I got the impression it might’ve been more than that.”

Miranda shook her head, chuckling. “You too? I never should have told Jacob I was keeping an ‘old promise’ in front of others.” She finished her drink and allowed Shepard to pour her more. “Do you know how long the Illusive Man lectured me? Not just about how I passed this message to Jacob. He even lectured me about my involvement with him.”

“Shit,” Shepard giggled, wagging her head. “You’d think he considers your romantic life none of his business.”

“Tell me about it.” Miranda rolled her eyes. “I’ve never wanted to snap ‘it’s none of your damn business’ so much in my life. And I’ve never snapped at the Illusive Man. Besides, what happened between Jacob and I was never serious, never jeapordized our missions, before and after our…thing.”

“To add to that, it’s in the past.”

“Exactly. Sometimes I wish I had your courage to, well, snap something rude at the Illusive Man. I honestly don’t think my romantic life has anything to do with him.”

“What was your romantic life like, by the way?”

“Oh, with Jacob? Well…it was never serious, as I said before. More like a crush, like the ones you get when you’re a teenager,” Miranda smiled softly. Then, she chuckled. “It was terrible! He was always so clueless. You’d make a move on him, and he wouldn’t realize it was romantic and take it as some friendly banter or tease.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’d flirt, or wink, and he’d have this clueless face on. I believe there was a term for it? Derpy. I think that was it.”

Shepard looked confused. “Wait, we still use that term?”

“You’d be surprised,” Miranda laughed. “Jacob was so innocent. Oh, and in the relationship, he took things slow. _Too_ slow, in fact. We never got past having an interest in each other. He was so hesitant about making me his girlfriend and said he needed more time to think and how he thought I was rushing…eventually I decided I wasn’t going to wait around.”

“Ahh. Well, I talked to Jacob about this, too, but he wouldn’t let on. Sounds like he regrets doing so.”

“To be honest, it’s quite embarrassing to talk about what happened with him,” Miranda muttered, scratching her neck. “I sincerely hope the next woman who makes a move on him would be treated better.”

Shepard nodded. Then, with a mischievous tone, “So, you did manage to rip him out of that uniform, eh?”

Miranda seemed a little flustered, but her voice was as even as ever. “Trust me, Shepard, when I say no. But…I’ve seen him once or twice without his shirt. And I tell you, it’s a breath-taker.”

“Don’t tempt me, Miranda,” Shepard warned, before laughing.

The other giggled, too. The mirth was contagious. “Well…those were by accident. But we never slept together, no.” Then, Miranda put a hand on her cheek, as though feeling to see if she was blushing. She wasn’t, of course. “Well, I’m glad we’re not in _my_ room right now. The Illusive Man and his listening devices…my thing with Jacob was none of his business…”

“I’ve never heard you rage about your boss so much,” Shepard laughed, amused, and then winked at her. “You never know, though, maybe the Illusive Man has a crush on you…”

“W-what?” Miranda’s face flushed pink, and she sputtered, scandalized. “The Illusive Man? Attracted to me?”

Seeing Miranda embarrassed only caused Shepard to laugh harder. The Cerberus operative further stammered, “I—well, I suppose that’s possible but—what am I saying? The Illusive Man is quite handsome, if only he was younger and not so serious—maybe…”

“Ohh, what’s that I hear?” Shepard sang. “You like him, too?”

“The idea is ridiculous. I mean—he’d never—well, I noticed some funny looks before but I never considered—“ Her train of thought stopped when Shepard almost fell off her chair. She frowned. “You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Shepard wiped a tear from her eyes, perfect teeth showing in her wide grin. “Oh, my cheeks hurt.”

Despite her best efforts to be angry, Miranda couldn’t help but giggle. “Don’t worry about it, Shepard. My apologies if I was too unprofessional.”

“You? Unprofessional? Did you even _see_ how hard I laughed just now?” Shepard raised an eyebrow, smirking. “This stuff almost came out my nose. Don’t accuse yourself of being unprofessional. Besides, it’s nice to see you let go.”

“Yes, it is nice,” Miranda smiled softly. She promptly stood up after a few seconds. “I should finish up today’s reports and get settled in. You should rest, too.”

“Of course. I’m saving the galaxy and all, remember.”

The other smiled as she walked towards the exit. “How could I forget? Good night.”

“Good night. Girl talk again some other time?”

Miranda chuckled. “I’ll be counting on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will add Jack in the next chapter. Characters come in as Shepard recruits them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope some adult humour wouldn't be too disturbing...

Seeing the facility on Pragia blow up in flames made all the weight off the world fall off Jack’s shoulders. Alas, she was free. Free from the nightmares, scars and screams of her past. For the first time in her life, she truly felt at peace.

And Jack confessed this to Shepard, when the commander came down to visit her a few hours after blowing the facility to hell. Shepard stayed, listening, as Jack spoke, expression thoughtful, eyes closed. For once, the convict let her walls down completely, voicing out her thoughts, venting her feelings.

And the other responded accordingly, kindly. Jack knew Shepard had gone through some real shit herself, knew she understood a bit about going through hard times.

“Listen—just, thank you, alright?” Jack said, only then noticing how dangerously fragile she sounded. Then, with regained composure, “Now, let’s get back to work.”

Shepard nodded. “Oh, and Jack? If you ever want any drinks or someone to chat with, you could always come up to my quarters. Doors are always open.” Then, she left.

* * *

 

A few days later, Miranda walked through Shepard’s cabin door.

“Forgive me for barging in,” Miranda said as soon as she stepped through the door. Judging from her voice, though, she wasn’t sorry at all.

“Not at all,” Shepard said distractedly, sprawled out across her bed, eyes on a datapad. “What did Jack do this time?”

Miranda paused in speech as she walked down the steps. Then, “Um, it’s not about Jack. I came here to hold you to your promise of having more girl talk.” At this point, Shepard perked up. Miranda had a smirk on her face, holding a champagne bottle in her hand. “And, unlike you, Commander, I actually have _taste._ I managed to get a little something when you stopped by the Citadel yesterday.”

“Right, of course, it’s me, Commander Shepard and her bleak, poor taste in drinks, oh woe is me,” Shepard mock-sang, pushing herself off the bed as Miranda rolled her eyes and smiled. The commander sat down on the sofa and brought the glasses out. As Miranda poured the drinks out, Shepard said, “Ah, you know, I wasn’t actually expecting you to come up on your own.”

“Why?” Miranda asked, eyebrow raised, as she leaned back and took a sip. The heavenly taste tickled her tongue.

“Well, I didn’t think you’d be up for it, but it’s a nice surprise nonetheless,” Shepard replied quickly, glass touching her lips, champagne trinkling into her mouth. “Oh. Ooh. That’s good.”

“Glad you like it,” Miranda smiled gently. “So, what do we discuss tonight?”

Shepard shrugged. “I don’t know, I—“

The cabin door opened and someone entered. Miranda and Shepard looked up just as Jack stood at the top of the steps, leaning on one side against the aquarium.

“Ah, what’s this?” Jack arched a brow, one edge of her lips tugging upwards. “I didn’t know you two were dating.”

“Jack,” Miranda said, her voice even, if only her expression darkened a little. “Come here to cause trouble?”

“No, actually, but I might now that I know you’re here.” Biotics flared, a purple aura covering Jack, and Miranda stood up.

Shepard sighed. “ _I thought_ I already told you two to stop this shit. Save this bloodlust for the Collectors, tear each other apart _after_ we kill those sons-of-bitches. Which part of that do you two not understand?”

They remained poised threateningly, as though to see if the other would give in first. In the end, they simultaneously stood down.

“Sorry, Commander,” Miranda apologized, sitting back down, but not before narrowing her eyes at Jack.

The convict rolled her eyes, and Shepard nodded at her. “What do you need, Jack?”

“Nothing. I actually wanted to take up your offer, about drinking and chatting,” Jack walked down the steps and approached them, eye on Miranda. “Unless if the cheerleader’s occupying your time...”

“Come on, Jack, sit down. I’m sure Miranda—“ Shepard cocked a brow at said woman, “wouldn’t mind.”

Jack walked past Miranda to join Shepard on the couch, the tension between the earlier two making things difficult for the commander. At least one wouldn’t throw the other into her aquarium and kill all her beloved fish.

“So. What are we drinking?” Jack asked, settling down on the couch and leaning back, as Shepard scooched over to make space for her.

Before Shepard could reply, Miranda did. “It’s champagne I bought on the Citadel yesterday. The last time Shepard and I had a drink, it wasn’t even wine. It was this grape juice in a champagne bottle.” At the mention of that, Miranda’s lips trembled into a tiny smile.

Jack’s lips spread into a smirk as she nudged the commander with her elbow. “You serious? Fruit juice in a damn champagne bottle?”

“Hey, Kelly was the one who suggested it to me,” Shepard muttered, slightly embarrassed. Then, defensively, “And it tasted good. Okay? Wine and champagne are so mainstream. You should try something different for a change.”

“With great embarrassment, I agree to that.”

Shepard looked at Miranda helplessly. “What do you mean, ‘with great embarrassment’? It was good!”

“Hey, if you think it tastes nice, it’s good enough for me.” Jack peered at Miranda. “Not going to pour out drinks for the new girl?”

“I don’t see an extra glass,” Miranda retorted. “And it’s my credits that bought this drink.”

“Hey,” Shepard warned, throwing quick looks to both of them. Taking out an extra glass, she said, “There’s Jack’s glass. Now, Miranda, you’re gonna share, right?”

“Sharing is caring,” Jack mock-teased.

“Jack,” Shepard arched an unimpressed brow at her childishness. Jack simply grinned, whereas Miranda reluctantly poured out Jack’s glass, before refilling hers and Shepard’s.

Jack drank, closing her eyes for a few brief moments. “I haven’t had shit this good for a long time,” she said, almost contently, taking another gulp.

“Savour it. We don’t have another bottle.” Shepard smiled. She turned to Miranda. “So, subject to talk about?”

Miranda was silent, then she shrugged, frowning. “I was asking _you.”_

“What? Girl talk?” Jack inquired, to which Shepars murmured ‘something like that’. The convict grinned. “I don’t take you two to be ones who’d talk about shoes.”

“Not actually shoes, but, yes, we planned to talk,” Miranda sat cross-legged, leaning back. Then, with a lopsided smile, said, “Actually, when I was buying the champagne, I saw some things for sale. It was a shop selling things for all races. You’d be surprised how pretty the shoes are for female turians.”

“I once heard that shops selling quarian suits were fake,” Jack contributed, looking up thoughtfully. Slowly, she smirked. “These fake suits were unsanitized and could kill quarians. I guess that’s why they rarely go shopping for new outfits.”

“The only safe suits are usually specially made on the flotilla,” Miranda said.

“Speaking of clothes,” Jack finished her drink, and poured herself more, “where did you get _your_ outfit? I know it’s a uniform but…”

“Custom-made by Cerberus,” Miranda said matter-of-factly.

“They seriously let you whore around in that?” Jack scoffed.

“I could say the same for you. What the heck are you wearing as a top?” Miranda rolled her eyes. “If it’s even supposed to be a top. Don’t your breasts hurt, confined to that horrid triangular…thing? How could you let _yourself_ whore around in that?”

“Hey, I like showing off my ink,” Jack said defensively. “By the way, your outfit? You might as well not wear anything at all. Whoever made that outfit obviously just wanted to check out your genetically modified ass.”

“It was specifically made as per The Illusive Man’s request,” Miranda straightened, expression superior.

Impulsively, Shepard quipped, “Ooh, doesn’t that mean _he_ wanted to check you out?”

Not expecting that answer, Miranda was speechless. Jack, on the other hand, was surprised at the suggestion, but recovered quickly and started to laugh her ass off.

The idea was so funny to the convict that she couldn’t stop laughing. Shepard chuckled, “I actually teased her about The Illusive Man having a crush on her.”

“That—that’s possible,” Jack sputtered between breaths. She held and patted Shepard’s shoulder, calming down to catch her breath. “Think about it. You can’t tell me it’s not possible.” Then she started laughing again.

Miranda’s face was flushed. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Jack has a point, you _did_ say The Illusive Man created that outfit _just for you_ ~” Shepard teased, snickering. “And you _do_ have eye-opening assets. I heard one of the ship’s crew say something about how your uniform made them ‘stand at attention’.”

The Cerberus officer’s jaw dropped, and her hand crossed over her chest defensively, face scandalized. “You’re joking. So the first thing they look at when I’m yelling at them is my breasts?”

“Maybe…you’d have to see where their eyes go,” Shepard hummed. “I never thought you’d be embarrassed about this.”

“I’m not Jack! She may like it when people stares at _her_ scrawny arse, but—“

“Hey! My ass is _not_ —“ Jack paused. “Okay, well, compared to _your_ ass, I lose, but—“ Jack looked down at her chest, then stared at Miranda’s. With a frustrated groan, she threw her hands up. “Damn. Even her rack is better than mine.”

“I’m more appalled than flattered,” Miranda frowned.

Shepard laughed. “And I have no comment.”

“I live under the engineering deck, y’know. That guy engineer up there sometimes tells his friend about how ‘Shepard fills up armor like nobody’s business’.”

Miranda saw this as a chance to make a comeback. “That’s not all. Other crewmates have talked about ways you’ve unintentionally turned them on just by glaring at them, Commander…”

“W-What?” Shepard looked freaked out.

Jack laughed. “Damn. We should line those damn men up one day, yell at them, threaten to feed them to varren, and be all sexy just to give them boners.”

“And, what? When they _do_ get turned on?” Shepard arched a brow.

“We push their buttons,” Jack grinned. “Make ‘em sweat. Not by taking off our clothes, of course. By…showing them we’re dominant.”

“I know, you mean the ‘I’m your sexy boss, my word is the law’ kind of dominance, but it sounds wrong either way,” Shepard said with a sheepish smile. “Besides, don’t I turn them on with my ‘badass dangerous sexy Spectre lady’ all the time?

“You do, but you should see what happens when you mix _three_ powerful sexy bitches.”

“For the love of…I actually like the idea,” Miranda frowned. “Now I feel disgustingly dirty. We’re not going to actually do it, will we?”

“One day. We’ll add that to our bucket list, don’t forget to remind me.” Jack grinned. Then, she stood up and stretched. “Well, I’m gonna go sleep now. Thanks for the chat.” She walked across the room and up the steps. “And thanks for the drinks, cheerleader. Next time, I’m buying.”

Jack didn’t stop or turn around as she exited.

Shepard smiled. “Nice to see you two having a normal chat without threatening to kill each other.”

“She said ‘next time’,” Miranda pointed out.

Shepard quirked her brows, surprised. “Huh. I suppose she did.” Then, she smirked. “I’m looking forward to it because…well, I really enjoy these talks, you know. About shoes and men and how the Illusive Man _loves_ your ass…”

Miranda choked on her drink. Her voice was indignant as she glared at the laughing woman. “Shepard!”

A biotic-thrown pillow hit Shepard in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are more chapters to come. Hope you enjoyed it so far!
> 
> Leave kudos! :D


	3. Chapter 3

“Well, it looks like I’m early, the cheerleader ain’t here yet,” Jack grinned at Shepard, who was at her desk. As Shepard smiled at her, the other shook her hands. “Sorry, no drinks. We didn’t actually have time for shore leave after you left the Citadel.”

“Nope, we didn’t,” Shepard sighed, following Jack down the steps. “Illium, Citadel, now off to Haestrom. And then back to Illium again. Thank FTL travel for saving my credits, or else I’d go broke from buying all the fuel.”

“You? Going broke?” Jack scoffed, landing heavily on the leather sofa.

The airlock opened and Miranda went in. Having caught the last words of Jack’s sentence, Miranda arched a brow. “Is there a problem here?”

“Nah,” Jack waved the assumption aside, before nodding towards the one-seater, gesturing for the other to sit down. “Shepard’s thanking the wonderful wonder of FTL travel for saving her credits.”

Shepard was on her bed, eyes on a datapad but ears listening to their conversation. She didn’t notice when Miranda smiled at her. “Ah, well, the fear of running out of credits is normal. Why, Shepard? Saving money to buy something special?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Maybe you could buy something that’d make your assets stand out more, Shepard,” Jack ‘advised’.

Shepard grimaced. “I’d rather use the money to buy you a proper shirt.”

Miranda laughed. “Not to worry though, this mission is always well-financed.”

“The Illusive Asshole doesn’t need to finance us, actually, we’d do pretty well on our own,” Jack grinned. “With how Shepard always pokes around wall safes and terminals, hacking into bank accounts and shit. Thousands of credits at a time, and she’s worried about running out of them.”

“To be honest, Shepard, you’re a bit of a looter yourself,” Miranda settled down comfortably on the chair. “Sometimes you take credits from the dead mercs or guards we’ve killed, too. And yet I still remember the time we found those looters in that apartment and you said you didn’t like looters…”

“Hey, if you wanna save money, stop buying those tiny-scale models,” Jack pointed above her head, and through the glass were the various models of various ships and items Shepard had bought. “Or you could stop buying fish…”

“Girls, every store I go to gives me a discount,” Shepard smirked, scrolling down on the datapad. “Those tiny models are fun, and not so expensive. Aaaand the fish are fun, too.”

“Please remember to feed them,” Miranda said, eyes travelling to the aquarium. “Remember what happened to that skald fish you bought on the Citadel? And that was just a short while ago days ago.”

“I don’t want to remember,” Shepard frowned. Then, she threw an accusing look at her. “Wait, how did _you_ know they died yesterday?” Then she glared at Jack.

Jack raised her hands. “I didn’t say shit.”

Miranda laughed. “There are bugs planted all over the ship. That den below the Engineering Deck included.”

Shepard’s jaw dropped as she turned to Jack. “Thought you got rid of all the bugs!”

“I did! Or…I _think_ I got all of them.”

“Nope, there are still some. Trust me, I’m actually _with_ Cerberus. You’d have to keep looking.”

“Shit! There better not be any ‘eyes’, cheerleader.”

“Don’t worry. Just ears.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Anyway, I have to say I’m quite disappointed Shepard went to you first to break the sad news.”

“Actually I wish she went to you. It was awkward as fuck to comfort her. When I told her she could always buy more fish she just became gloomier. I had no idea what to say. Worst situation of my life.”

“Hey!” Shepard threw a pillow at Jack, which the convict dodged with a laugh.

“If Shepard came to me the first thing I’d say is we’ve finally something decent to eat.”

“Hey!” Another pillow flew across the room and Miranda dodged that one with a laugh, too.

“Oh, Commander Shepard,” Jack mused with a smile. “Able to save the galaxy but unable to save her fish.”

“HEY!” Shepard didn't have any pillows to throw this time, and had to suffer through embarrassment as the other two laughed.

“It’s alright, Commander. Next place we dock, I’ll buy you a drink and some fish. Maybe some scale models. But you’d have to name one of the fish after me.”

“Hm…okay,” Shepard’s lips quirked into a tiny smile. “Now that I think about it, I don’t actually name my fish.”

“Really? What a waste. Remember this once we get the new fish. One of the things on the To-Do List is to name your pets.”

Shepard and Jack chuckled.

“Enough about that. Commander, I’m actually surprised we haven’t gone back to Illium yet.” Miranda looked over her shoulder at Shepard. “When we went there, I thought we were going to check on Oriana, recruit Samara and recruit Thane. We’ve been floating in space, picking up resources and researching upgrades for almost five days now.”

“I helped you first because it was crucial,” Shepard said. “Samara and Thane Krios could wait. And we’ve done enough mining. I’d like to recruit Tali first before we get back to Illium.”

“I don’t have access to dossiers, you know,” Jack half-pouted.

“Right. Well, we have three more people to recruit, a justicar, an assassin and Tali,” Shepard informed.

“Who’s Tali? Sounds like you know her personally.”

“Tali’Zorah. She’s a quarian and tech expert who could be a valuable asset to our team,” Miranda explained. “I met her on Freedom’s Progress. I don’t think I made a good impression on her.”

“Besides men, since when have you _ever_ made a good impression?”

“Don’t argue,” Shepard reprimanded, before saying, “She’s not just any quarian, Jack. Tali’s a good friend of mine who helped me defeat Saren and Sovereign. I guess being on my team made her know about the geth more than any of her people.”

“So…she’s on Haestrom? That’s where we’re headed?”

“Yeah. We’ll be there first thing tomorrow.”

Silence fell upon them. It was normal at first, but slowly became awkward.

Miranda broke the quiet. “I just realized. Why aren’t we drinking anything?”

Jack sighed. “Because there are no liquor stores on uncharted worlds.”

* * *

 

The mission to recruit Tali went as smoothly as any of Shepard’s missions could be. Blowing up geth, setting charges, fighting invisible drones, stopping Kal’Reegar from sacrificing himself, disabling a colossus. Yep. Just another day at the office.

It had been a few hours of rest. Joker had set a course for Illium and they were due to arrive by tomorrow. After having a small after-mission meal alone, and unwilling to go to the tech lab to research more upgrades, Shepard took the elevator down to the engineering deck.

“Have a few moments, Tali?” Shepard smiled, walking through the door right behind the quarian.

Tali turned, glanced at Donnelly and Daniels, before gesturing Shepard to follow her to the drive core. As they walked, she said, “Guess we didn’t have much time to talk on Haestrom, huh?”

“Nope, we didn’t. I was too busy blowing up geth like a badass.”

Tali chuckled. “Have you ever blown up geth without looking badass?”

Shepard grinned. “Nope. How are you?”

“I’m doing fine thanks to you, of course,” Tali said. She turned to look at the drive core. “This ship is amazing! The drive core is so huge. No wonder the Normandy’s twice as big than she was before.”

“Yep,” Shepard nodded, eyes wandering to the large drive core as well. “Have you toured it properly, yet?”

“Actually, no. The first thing I did was come down here. I didn’t bother to stop by the other levels.”

“Well…below this level is the cargo bay, but of course there’s not much there,” Shepard explained, leaning against the rail. “Second floor, you’ve been there. Armory and lab, galaxy map and bridge. Then there’s the crew deck, the third floor. Mess hall, crew’s quarters, med-bay, they’re all there.”

“What about your quarters?”

Shepard grinned at her. “That’s the best part. I have the top floor to myself, and a wonderful, spacious captain’s cabin.”

“Ooh,” Her voice hinted that she was smiling. “Tell me about it.”

“Well…it has an aquarium, so I have pet fish now. My work area is pretty large too, I could put scale models of ships and other things, and all my files on the desk, and I have a space hamster, too.”

“Sounds like heaven. Beats your old chambers, eh?”

“It sure does. Hell, at least it’s not so dark anymore,” Shepard giggled, her mirth in sync with Tali’s. “It has a queen-size bed, a sofa and seats in one corner. It’s nice, but could always use some improvements. For example, they could’ve installed better music into that radio on my tabletop.”

“I think I can help with that,” Tali offered light-heartedly.

“Sounds great.”

“What about the crew? When you came to get me, there was Garrus and a krogan on your team. I’m pretty sure they weren’t with you when we met on Freedom’s Progress.”

“Yeah, we’ve been recruiting,” Shepard nodded. “So far we’ve six members, excluding you. You’ve met Miranda and Jacob on Freedom’s Progress. She’s in the crew deck, and he’s up in the armory. Then, there’s Mordin, he’s in the tech lab just across from the armory. Garrus is on the crew deck, too, and he’s finally found something to calibrate that isn’t the Mako.”

“You know, he spent so much time ‘calibrating’ the Mako back on the first Normandy, I thought it was the only thing he did,” Tali mused, before chuckling and looking at Shepard. “I don’t think his calibrations were very effective. The ride in the Mako was the riskiest part of every mission.”

“Hey!” Shepard playfully hit Tali’s arm as the other laughed.

“It’s true! I remember how Wrex almost threw up! I’ve never seen a krogan so _terrified_.”

“Sshh! The engineers will hear you!” Shepard grinned.

Tali didn’t comply, of course. “I thought it was bad enough that you were a horrible _dancer,_ but to know you’re a horrible driver is—“

“Tali!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop. But I’ll never let you go for your dancing. Or driving.”

“Noted.”

“Anyways, continue? About your crew?”

“Ah, yes. Hmm, the krogan you saw with me on Haestrom is Grunt. He shares this deck with you. And below the engineering deck is where Jack is.”

“I gather that the team isn’t complete yet,” Tali surmised, tilting her head. “Where are we headed?”

“Illium. We have two more people to recruit until the team is complete.”

“Ah, until then, I can clean up the ship’s systems.”

“Not going to get to know the crew?” Shepard raised an eyebrow. Why did none of her crewmates ever leave the isolation of their parts of the ship to talk to each other? She wondered whether they ever meet each other besides when they eat in the mess hall.

“Maybe, but I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with anyone other than you and Garrus,” Tali scratched her shoulder, sounding nervous.

“Hmm, maybe you should catch up with Joker. Or get to know EDI. Oh, and my yeoman, too. She’s pretty fun.” Shepard flashed a lopsided smile. “Come on, everybody loves you, Tali. You could get along with anyone. Make some new friends.”

“Alright, if you say so. Thanks for checking up on me, Shepard.”

“Anytime,” The commander smiled, walking the quarian back to her post. They nodded at each other and she turned to leave, but then the idea struck Shepard like lightning. “Oh, Tali?”

“Yes?”

“You should come up to my quarters some time. You did say it sounded like heaven.”

Tali glanced over her shoulder at a sly-smiling Shepard. Even if Shepard couldn’t see it, she knew the quarian was returning the look with an amused smirk.

Tali’s voice when she replied was as cheerful as ever. “Oh, I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I think I'll be posting the next chapter soon now that exams are over. Do leave kudos!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I posted this a while ago on ff.net but I forgot to post it here. Sorry for the wait!

Shepard walked into the armory, body equipped with full armor. Grunt was modifying his shotgun on the desk where Jacob was at his post, whereas Miranda was on the other side of the room, cleaning her pistol. The commander looked around.

“Where’s Tali?” she asked to nobody in particular, as she picked out a heavy weapon.

“She’s on her way up,” Miranda replied, eyes not lifting from her pistol as she gave it a once-over.

“Huh,” Shepard said disconnectedly, hooking the missile launcher onto her back. She walked across the room and approached Miranda, taking the submachine gun from its slot. “So, what do you think of her?”

“Who? Tali?” Miranda arched a brow. “Well, she seems an awfully cheerful girl. And quite the engineering genius.”

“I don’t mean in general. What do you think of her, personally?”

It took a while for the other to answer. “I’ve ate with her once. Loquacious little thing. But the way she speaks to Garrus and the way she speaks to me are slightly different.”

“How so?”

“With me, she’s awkward and frigid,” The edge of her lips curled downward, eyes narrowed. “I don’t think she likes me.”

“You have no way of knowing that,” Shepard smirked. “Maybe she’s just not used to you yet.”

“Shepard, I’ve told you before that I could tell—“

“You should also be conscious of your superior attitude. Half of the time I don’t think you realize you’re a bitch.”

“I—“ Miranda’s retort was cut short when Tali walked in through the door.

“Hi, Shepard,” The quarian chirped. “Hello, guys.” She approached the desk where Grunt was, picking out a shotgun. Grunt watched as she disassembled it, added new parts and pieces, and assembled it back together again.

He was impressed she did it so quickly.

“Who are we recruiting?” Tali asked as she finished with her weapon, taking out a cloth to wipe its top.

“I’m not sure, still choosing between the justicar and the assassin,” Shepard replied, voice thoughtful. “We’ll head down to Illium and see.”

“Anything I should know before we head out?”

“Liara cleared our docking funds when we first came here,” Shepard smiled.

“Ah, Garrus told me about that. I can’t believe our sweet innocent Liara is hunting down the Shadow Broker. He also said something about her being more violent…”

“She said she’d hit the Shadow Broker with a biotic field so strong that what’s left of him will fit in a coffee cup.”

“Whoa,” Tali laughed, hooking the shotgun behind her waist. “That’s a far cry compared from the Liara two years ago. She was such a Prothean geek. And a clutz.”

“But a deadly biotic nonetheless,” Shepard smirked, raising an eyebrow at her. “Please, you’ve changed too, Tali’Zorah _vas Neema._ Your taste in fashion has upped since I last saw you.”

Tali made a sound, as though she was about to giggle, but stopped halfway. The outline of her eyes narrowed. “Are you saying my taste in fashion wasn’t good before?”

Shepard’s eyes widened when she realized what was implied. “Wait, I didn’t mean—“

“Oohh, so is it safe to say your _dancing_ skills—“ Tali’s sentence was cut off when she laughed at Shepard’s pale face, as though begging her not to spill the beans when there were others around.

Suddenly, Miranda cut in their conversation, her voice firm. “Commander, who are we going to recruit first?”

Shepard noticed Tali narrow her eyes at the other woman. She didn’t think Miranda noticed what she did was quite rude. “Umm, alright, I guess we’ll go for the justicar first.”

To that, Tali said, “Aw, I was hoping to see the assassin recruited first.”

“Why?”

“Oh you know, because all the assassins are always so _handsome._ ”

Miranda smirked. “Well, we wouldn’t know until we meet him. But I can’t help but agree. Assassins always have some kind of magic touch to them.”

“I know right,” Tali smiled at the other through her mask.

Shepard shook her head with a chuckle, hooking her pistol by her hip. “You two have been watching way too many vids. We’re recruiting the justicar first. Come on.”

Miranda and Tali followed Shepard out the armory to head for the bridge. Once they exited, Grunt turned to Jacob. “What was that? Their discussion had no purpose. It was petty.”

Jacob sighed, returning to the rifle he was working on. “It’s called girl talk, Grunt. You’ll get used to it.”

* * *

 

Shepard took the elevator down to the crew deck, and the moment she stepped out she heard chatter from the mess hall. This time, however, it wasn’t the voices of the usual people, but the flang of Garrus’ voice, the deep tone of Jacob’s, Mordin’s rapid-fire speech, and Grunt’s laughter (which will never cease to make her smile).

She drew near the mess hall to see all of her recruited crew at one table. Miranda deemed it safer for them to eat separately from the Normandy’s crew; she said that Mordin would talk them to death and Grunt would eat them for dessert.

The girls were there, as well—Miranda, Tali, Jack. They sat, separated from each other by the boys. Shepard smiled at the friendly atmosphere, taking her meal from Gardner and finding a seat next to Garrus.

“Hello, Shepard,” Tali greeted, “We were just talking about you.”

Shepard nodded in return and drank, just as Garrus pulled his mandibles into a grin. “Yeah, just telling the crew about your dancing back in the Flux…”

The commander choked on her drink, and the crew laughed at her misfortune instead of helping her.

“If it’s as bad as they say it is, you’re gonna need some dancing lessons from the one and only,” Jack smirked.

“Oh, where’d you learn your moves? The strip club?” Miranda chuckled, voice malicious.

Jack’s smile vanished. “Who’s the slut here, me, or you?”

Shepard rolled her eyes, and, knowing they wouldn’t start fighting when she was around, noticed there was no plate or drink in front of Tali. “You’re not eating?”

“She eats separately, with that suit on and all, remember?” Jacob answered for her, grinning at the quarian. Tali nodded in reponse, saying something about Jacob knowing all too well.

Shepard simply smiled and tucked into her meal. Mordin was revealing new upgrades he could research for the team.

“Ooh, biotic damage,” Miranda cooed, attracted to the improvement. “We have enough element zero for that, I’m sure.”

“Hell yes!” Jack exclaimed. “Gives me more power to rip you to shreds when this is all over, cheerleader.”

Miranda scoffed, “Or it just gives me a higher chance of kicking your bony arse.”

“Sometimes I wonder why you can’t just get it out already,” Garrus spoke, voice smooth. “You two like each other.”

Shepard couldn’t help but laugh and so did most of the crew. Grunt mumbled something about human sexuality not being in his imprints, and when Mordin started explaining hormones, that just made her laugh harder. Both of the biotics in question looked disgusted and Garrus’ clever reply effectively stopped their argument.

When the laughter died down, Mordin said thoughtfully. “Still one more person to recruit until team is complete. Then, can focus on Collectors.”

“Speaking of recruits, where’s Samara?” Jacob inquired.

“Probably holed up in the starboard observation deck,” Grunt replied gruffly. “I don’t think she’s coming out to eat.”

“What do you think of her?” Shepard meant this question for the whole crew.

Mordin was the first to offer his opinion. “Powerful biotic. Rivals those of an asari matriarch…hard person to talk to.”

“Oh yes, that woman means business,” Garrus agreed. “I tried speaking with her once. Her face is like it’s carved of stone.”

“ _Your_ face is like a tomkah ran over you,” Grunt laughed.

Tali looked around, as though afraid Smaara would pop out of nowhere. She leaned forward, voice low. “What do you think of her armor?”

“I think it’s kinda cool,” Shepard piped up. “I’ve never seen a blue asari rock the colour red like she does. Remind me to ask her where she bought her armor.”

“Seriously? You want to wear that into battle?” Jack arched a brow as she scratched the back of her shoulder, leaning back against her seat. “Her getup was…I mean, I thought this cheerleader’s outfit was slutty—“

“Hey,” Miranda scowled. “That’s a lot coming from you, criticizing Samara’s attire. Don’t get me started on _your_ poor choice of clothes.”

“I wasn’t criticizing, hear me out,” Jack gave Miranda ‘the hand’, annoyed at the interruption. “Just saying that she’s one of the few people who could make armor like that look _elegant._ Besides, maybe it’s a justicar thing.”

She threw an irritated look at Miranda. “As for _us._ I have ink, a reason to show off. You? You don’t have anything to show that isn’t your assets, and _that’s_ what makes you look slutty.”

“At least _my_ outfit actually _covers_ my body. Not like her.”

“She could be forgiven, sometimes we just want to kill bitches with our boobs out,” Jack snapped, before drinking her coffee.

“What difference does that do?” Miranda’s voice was incredulous.

“You’re lucky you even _have_ the option to do so,” Tali moped. “Meanwhile I’m forced to cover my entire body.”

Miranda arched a brow at her. “You compensate by letting it outline your shape.”

“Yeah, as if I haven’t caught a few of the crewmen catching a glimpse of that quarian ass,” Jack grinned.

Tali was flustered and speechless, and Shepard didn’t know whether to laugh or facepalm. All the males at the table were silent, eyes down at their food as though embarrassed at the conversation. Which they have every right to be, this was girl talk after all.

“Girls, not wanting to interrupt, but we can talk about this later,” Shepard muttered, flashing each of them a small smile to point their attention to the boys.

The three other women blinked, falling silent. Apparently they haven’t realized the impact of their discussion on the others.

* * *

 

A few hours later, Jack was down in the cargo hold, arms crossed and eyes scoping out the area. The elevator behind her opened and Shepard walked out.

“What’s up?” Shepard asked lightheartedly. The commander followed as Jack approached the large desk with the many buttons ahead of them. “You haven’t moved down to the cargo hold, have you?”

“Nah, it’s too open out here,” Jack shook her head. “Actually, that might be a good thing. We don’t have a special place for sparring and hand-to-hand combat and the cargo hold seems like the perfect place.”

“I’m not surprised, hearing that from you,” Shepard’s eyes scanned the area. Nodding, he brought out her omni-tool. “Well…I’ll consult with the Normandy’s crew first. We don’t want to move anything that would break the ship.”

“It’s just a bunch of stuff. They wouldn’t have an engine sticking out of nowhere in the middle of the room, right?”

“I hope not, or else I’d question Cerberus engineers.”

Jack jumped over the desk as Shepard sent a message to the crew members in charge of the cargo hold. The convict walked around, regarding the things in the way, drawing out a mental map of what should be the sparring area. A few moments later, Shepard received an okay and closed her omni-tool.

“Okay, renovation is a go,” Shepard gave her a thumbs-up, before paying attention to the control panel. “Now, let me figure out the buttons.”

“Who needs buttons when you’ve got biotics?” Jack said matter-of-factly, purple aura flaring. Before Shepard could stop her, the convict had already pulled some metal crates towards her.

As the said cargo flew carelessly in the air, Shepard facepalmed. “I’d rather do this _without_ tearing up the place. Besides, there are controls for an arm to pick the crate up here, just let me—“

The elevator opened, and much to the commander’s surprise, Samara walked out. She bowed her head respectfully. “Commander.”

“Samara? What are you doing down here?” Shepard asked, wincing when the heavy cargo landed on the floor with a thud when Jack’s biotics wore off.

Samara’s gaze went past Shepard and to Jack, who was planning the width and length of her sparring area. “As a matter of fact, Jack contacted me to come down here. The purpose of the meeting was to ‘get to know each other’.”

Shepard arched a brow, turning to Jack. “Is this true?”

Jack didn’t glance at them and used another pull field to lift a few crates. “Yep. I figured, why not? We’re both biotics. I guess that’s a start.”

For a moment, Shepard was very uncomfortable with the idea. Having had a chat with Samara before to know about herself and justicars, she had second thoughts about her befriending a person such as Jack. Though Samara had sworn to serve under Shepard, it unnerved her to think Samara might be compelled to kill Jack due to her Code after the mission.

“As I told Shepard, I have spent much of the last 400 years in solitude,” Samara said, a small smile gracing her usually stoic face. She walked around the control panel and to where Jack was moving the crates, watching the convict at work. “What are you doing?”

“Well, with our suicide mission and all, you’d think the Cerberus engineers would’ve built in an open place for hand-to-hand training,” Jack rolled her eyes, smiling at the asari. “Shepard already gave the okay, and I’m making space.”

“Ah, with your biotics, I see,” Samara observed. “Strange. I assume they would have had a mechanical arm to lift and rearrange the cargo?”

“Yeah, but I’m having trouble with the control panel. There are so many buttons.”

“And I just came up with a faster solution to that,” Jack grinned. “Besides, Shepard doesn’t know shit about the controls, what if _she_ ends up destroying the place?”

While the commander scoffed at the idea, Samara thought about it. “I sense truth in your words.”

Shepard’s jaw dropped, unbelieving that she sided with Jack. “Y-You can’t be serious,” she spluttered.

The justicar gave her an apologetic smile. “It is late in the night cycle, Shepard. We should all be resting for tomorrow’s mission. However, we are not, due to this matter Jack is attending to. I would be happy to aid and speed the process of rearranging the cargo.”

Samara didn’t wait for Shepard to give an asnwer before her own biotics flared, and another set of cargo lifted into the air. Great, now she had two biotics flinging heavy stuff around.

“You don’t know what’s in those things, _please_ be careful,” Shepard sighed, rubbing her temple.

Jack laughed. “Don’t worry, girl, we’re both pros. We won’t break anything.” As Samara lifted a new group of cargo, Jack concentrated on rearranging the allocated ones, talking to the justicar on the width and length of the sparring grounds as she did so.

“By the way, I’m surprised you decided to help me,” Jack said, stirring a conversation as she finished with the rearranging.

“Is that not why you called me down?”

“Nah, just wanted to company to kill time while I moved the loads. Didn’t expect Shepard to come as well, though.”

Samara smiled at her during her powers’ cooldown. “That is kind of you, Jack. It is nice to make new acquaintances.”

“I figured I should be more social, since we’re going to be backing each other up during certain death. Anyway, tell me about justicars.”

The two began to talk, never tiring as their biotics flashed, the floating loads eventually clearing out space into a prominent square arena. Shepard was surprised with how well they were getting along, maybe against all odds they could turn out to be good friends. Hopefully.

As opposed to Jack’s reckless way of flinging the crates around (in a sense), Samara’s method was more controlled and elegant, without the load floating carelessly. Still though, Shepard would be more comfortable with having the machine move the cargo, so an idea struck her. Tapping her omni-tool, she called Tali to head down.

It wasn’t long before the elevator door opened and Tali walked out. “Hey Shep—what’s going on?”

“Don’t panic, they’re not fighting, just moving stuff,” Shepard gave a lopsided smile, gesturing for her to come over to the control panel. “They could handle it, but the biotics could destroy whatever is inside those things, and I don’t want to lose precious supplies.”

“I understand,” Tali nodded, scanning the controls. “Oh, this is easy. Just let me…”

At that moment, the other two’s conversation came into hearing. “Damn, your biotics are hardcore,” Jack was saying, grinning.

“Yours are impressive, as well,” Samara bowed her head slightly.

“Thanks. Guess that means a lot, coming from a justicar.”

“Where did you train?”

“Never trained anywhere. I was once a Cerberus test subject and their experiments eventually turned me into this all-powerful bitch.” Jack’s voice was so casual.

“Oh,” Samara seemed taken aback by this information. She glanced at Shepard, and the commander nodded, confirming the information. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s all behind me,” Jack assured, causing a smirk to play on Shepard’s face. “All thanks to that smiling bitch over there.”

“I gather you two are close?”

“Yeah, she’s a good person,” Jack said, voice soft. Then it returned to its confident tone. “Don’t tell her that, though. It’ll get to her head.”

Samara chuckled. Smirking, Jack continued, “So, being a justicar sounds really strict. How’s it like, dealing with aliens? Do they give any extra respect?”

“They do, if they know what a justicar is and what she does,” Samara told, one edge of her lips curling upwards. “Informed or not, that does not stop them from staring…”

“Seriously? They do?” Jack exclaimed incredulously.

“Yes, I believe nobody could escape ogling nowadays,” Samara’s smile grew more apparent. She glanced at the convict. “And they wouldn’t stop until you look at them in the eye and flare your biotics.”

“Oh, tell me about it,” Jack grinned. The rest of their conversation was interrupted when the mechanical arm above them started to move. She looked at Shepard. “Finally got the thing wor—oh, hey, Tali.”

“Hey,” Tali replied heartily. “Hello, Samara.”

“Tali,” Samara acknowledged. Then, her eyes met Shepard’s. “I see you are hopeless when it came to the panel, commander.”

“I wouldn’t use the word hopeless,” Shepard defended as Tali began to mark the borders of the sparring area with the rearranged crates, since the stack was getting too high. “A little help was is what this is, that’s all.”

“Alright, done,” Tali said. The other three turned to see the newly arranged arena.

“Well, it would do,” Jack smiled, folding her arms. “I just have to get some rugs to cover the arena for sparring. Thanks for the help, girls.”

“It was my pleasure,” Samara nodded. “As a matter of fact, if you want to know any biotic tricks from an asari as old as myself, just let me know.”

“How old are you?”

“Almost a thousand years old.”

“Damn. You sure don’t look like it.”

“Yes. Nearly a thousand years’ experience on how to rip disrespectful men to shreds when their eyes stare where they’re not supposed to stare.”

Her statement caused a full-hearted laugh from Jack. “I had second-thoughts about you, Samara, but now I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

Watching the two from the distance, Tali looked at Shepard. “It’s nice to see this budding new friendship, but…Samara and Jack? Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I don’t know, Tali, let’s just hope their friendship doesn’t go sideways,” Shepard shrugged. She nodded twoards the elevator. “Well, it’s late. Thanks for coming down.”

“Anytime,” Tali said, following Shepard to the elevator, with Samara and Jack tailing them.

“Oh yeah, remember when we talked about installing new songs on my radio?” Shepard mentioned.

“Of course. I already did research on human music and found some songs you might like. Is it alright if I come up the night after tomorrow?”

“Sure. That’s perfect timing, actually.”

Shepard also reminded herself to remind Jack about that bottle she owed her and Miranda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope it was entertaining, because it's quite difficult to write the starting, where they get to know each other before introducing others into their "club". Leave kudos!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SHOULD STOP FORGETTING TO UPDATE THIS STORY ON AO3

When Thane dropped from the vents and finished everyone off, it left Tali and Jack speechless. Shepard, on the other hand, blinked, and watched the assassin carefully as he put his hands together and closed his eyes to…pray, she assumed.

Eventually, Tali composed herself. “…well, that was quite the entrance.”

Jack nodded in agreement, before scrunching her eyes. “Agh, goddamn sun. What the fuck did she need to have a big ass window for? To blind her clients?”

“Her desk is facing the door that leads to the bridge,” Tali pointed out, “I’m assuming that means the main entrance to her office is across the bridge and not through that other entrance she mentioned…”

“Whoever designed this building is an idiot.”

Shepard nearly facepalmed. “We can criticize the building’s construction _later_.”

“Right, sorry,” Tali said sheepishly.

Shepard turned to Thane. “Hello?”

Before the assassin could answer, Jack raised a hand. “Ooh, wait, I got a question.”

Shepard turned to her with an incredulous expression. “Can’t it wait?”

Jack didn’t comply and asked her question anyway. “Wasn’t it dark when we fighting across the bridge?”

The commander just stared, and Tali replied, “Yes, it was. So?”

“Then…why is the sun setting over on the horizon?”

Silence filled the room again, the fact taking the women by surprise. Eventually, Shepard turned back to Thane, who was just staring at her with an unreadable expression, the only obstacle between her and the glaring orange sunlight. Jack had a point, though.

“You know what? You can ask Mordin about that.” Shepard suggested slowly, getting a hold of herself and proceeding to talk to the assassin.

It was a short exchange, and he agreed to work for her without charge. With that settled, the four of them exited Nassana’s room and took the elevator down, where they proceeded to call a shuttle.

“Who’s going to drive?” Tali inquired, peering at the commander through her helmet.

“Shepard, I guess,” Jack shrugged.

“She’s a bad driver,” the quarian bluntly informed Thane.

“Ah.” His expression didn’t change, but his voice hinted amusement.

Shepard frowned, realizing Jack’s interest was piqued, as the convict waggled her brows. “Really? Sounds like a story behind it.”

“Ever heard of the Mako?” Tali sounded like she was grinning in that suit of hers.

“Save the tales for bedtime,” Shepard interrupted, cheeks starting to burn. The last thing she wanted was for a master assassin to hear her embarrassing Mako adventures. “Now get in the shuttle.”

“Who’s sitting in front?” Jack asked, looking at Tali. The unspoken meaning was ‘who’s sitting with the drell’.

“Thane will,” Shepard said, assuming Jack and Tali weren’t comfortable sitting with him.

On the contrary, they gave her mischievous looks instead. “Ooh? Lucky you~” Jack sang softly as she walked past the commander.

They piled into the shuttle and took off, joining the mass of other shuttles, heading to where the Normandy was docked. The ride was silent for the first few minutes, until Tali stirred a conversation with Jack at the back.

“The view is beautiful,” the quarian remarked, voice full of awe.

“I’ll just take your word for it, because the sunlight is reflecting off your helmet and it’s effectively blinding me so I can’t see shit.”

“Do you think we’ll get shore leave here?”

“I hope. Seems like a nice place for a day off, if you discount the amount of mercs who tried to kill us the whole time we were here. Besides, it spares me the misery of having to hear the cheerleader’s voice.”

“Who?”

“Miranda, the Cerberus cheerleader.”

“Is that what you call her?”

“Yep. Don’t know about you, but I don’t like her. We had a fight before we recruited you. She thinks her perfect genes give her the right to be a bitch.”

Tali laughed. “Honestly, Jack, I like you more than her.”

“I hate her more than anyone, and that’s saying something.”

“We should drink together sometime.”

“Good idea. I need to buy some wine, and you could remind me to get some dextro-based drinks, too.”

“Planning shore leave without me?” Shepard called from the front, smirk gracing her features as she glanced at them through the rearview mirror.

“Yeah, yeah, come along and we’ll buy your fish,” Jack poked her head in the gap between Thane’s and Shepard’s seats.  Thane seemed a bit startled with the way her head popped out but both women ignored that fact. “Bring the cheerleader, maybe we’ll finally buy her some clothes.”

“Remind me to do the same for you,” Shepard rolled her eyes with a smile.

The quietness returned, and for a while, the commander was enjoying the peace. They must have been about three minutes from the docking bay when Shepard looked away from her path to the radio. She cluelessly poked at it, flipping buttons, until the faint trace of music came from the speakers.

Unsure what song it was (or how to increase the volume), she decided to leave it be, but Tali had other plans. “Ooh! I _love_ this song!” she squealed.

Jack’s arm reached out and messed with the radio, and the volume increased, a catchy, sensual beat reaching their ears. “I know it, too,” the tatooed woman uttered, pleasantly surprised.

Before Shepard knew it, the two started singing along to its lyrics, crooning out of sync, laughing like children. If that wasn’t enough, the song had a sexual message and them ‘dancing’ and rocking the shuttle side to side isn’t helping.

Mortified, the commander looked at her newly recruited member. Thane looked awkward, but she really couldn’t tell with him.

Her gaze returned to the road as she released an aggravated sigh, praying to god they’d just shut up already.

* * *

 

It was announced that they were to have shore leave on Illium until the Illusive Man gave them intel for the next mission. After a night of well-earned rest, Shepard ate breakfast alone before heading back up to her cabin to sort out reports and emails.

One of the messages was from Jack, about buying new fish. Shepard glanced at her empty aquarium, frowning, before replying to the email positively, and their shore leave was set for the evening.

She went down to the crew deck and had a chat with Thane, as she always did with new crew members. After finishing this, she went down along to the starboard observation deck, where Samara usually was.

As the airlock opened, she immediately spotted Miranda seated cross-legged next to Samara on the floor.

“Ah, damn it,” Miranda cursed softly, purple aura fading as she looked up at what interrupted her. Shepard, of course.

“Miranda?” Shepard raised both eyebrows in surprise.

“Yes, commander?” she asked.

“What are you doing here?” Shepard walked into the room, exit closing, circling around the two. The view out the window wasn’t that of the ‘great empty void’ as usual. Since they were docked, it beheld the breath-taking vista of Illium.

Samara wasn’t meditating as usual. She was watching the commander, lips upturned and eyes amused. “Miranda and I have been conversing about biotics, and about each other.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. We had a good talk during breakfast a few hours ago. She simply came down to chat more.”

“That’s surprising, but it’s good for her,” Shepard sat down on the long seats. “She’s always typing on that computer in her quarters all the time.”

“Exactly,” Samara agreed, turning to Miranda. “I have pointed out the possible stress and pressure that overworking could exert on her.”

“I appreciate your concern, Samara, but I know my limits,” Miranda insisted.

“That did not stop you from asking me about how to meditate,” Samara smiled, eyes returning to the view of the void.

“Really? She asked you that?” Shepard gave a surprised laugh at Miranda, who seemed embarrassed, as though not expecting Samara to divulge the information. The commander leaned back. “Well, I guess that explains the way she’s sitting next to you.”

Miranda struggled for an explanation, which was unlike her, who was usually so prepared for everything. “I just…walked in, saw Samara sitting on the floor, with her eyes completely white and a biotic ball floating in front of her chest and—“

Shepard grinned cheekily. “Yeah, I think it’s cool, too.”

The Cerberus operative calmed, despite still embarrassed. “Cool wouldn’t be the word I’d use but…yes. I’d like to know how to meditate like that.”

“Because it’s cool.”

“That word is so childish,” Miranda said, disgusted.

“Uh-huh,” Shepard turned to Samara. “How is she doing so far?”

“She’s making some progress. Having some trouble but I think she would be able to meditate very soon.”

Miranda breathed deeply and adjusted her position to sit exactly like the justicar. Then, her biotics flared, slowly channeling towards one point just in front of her torso. It reminded Shepard of a singularity, but she guessed the objective was to relax and focus all biotic energy into one controlled point.

“You are trying too hard,” Samara chastised. “There is tension in your muscle and mind. Relaxing is the objective of meditation.”

“Your eyes aren’t white so I’m guessing you’ll still need to work on this,” Shepard pointed out.

“Yes, thank you for the motivation,” Miranda retorted sarcastically.

“I’m just saying,” the other shrugged. “Just in case you didn’t know, I made a makeshift sparring/training area down in the cargo hold, past all those weird fan-engine-thingies in the middle of the room. The cargo we recovered from the uncharted worlds is safe, though. I think.”

“Yes, I know that. The crew members report to me, if you’ve forgotten.”

“Right. If you’re up for it, take a partner and you could spar down there.”

“Maybe,” Miranda nodded, engrossed in channelling her biotics.

For a few moments, nothing was said, until Samara halted her own meditation and looked at Shepard. “It just occurred to me. Would it be a good idea to invite Jack to meditate as well?”

Shepard contemplated. “Sounds good. She’s biotic, too.”

“Oh, just great,” Miranda muttered, glancing at her irritably.

“You two should set aside differences, for my sake, at least,” Samara said gently. “I would like to teach her, and I imagine she would like to learn as well, given how you think it is cool.”

“I never said it was ‘cool’,” Miranda was appalled again and Shepard tried not to laugh.

“Regardless, meditation is for everybody, and Jack was among the first to befriend me,” Samara’s eyes became white and the biotic ball returned. “I would like to teach her. Perhaps meditating with me will help repair your relationship.”

Shepard half-expected Miranda to snap something and huff, but she didn’t. Perhaps she knew better than to talk back to a nearly one-thousand year old asari. “Getting them to stop hating each other would be doing the galaxy a big favor.”

“I will be sure to give them a long lecture if they argue while in my custody, Shepard.”

“Lecture?” Miranda’s lips parted into a smirk as she raised a brow at Samara. “Custody? What did I sign myself up for?”

Shepard laughed. “Seems fitting. You two need a babysitter.”

“Hey!” Miranda smiled at the commander. “You’re lucky there’s no pillow for me to throw at you right now.”

Samara waited for the laughter to die down. “Do you have plans for shore leave, commander?”

“Actually, yes. Jack invited me to go for shore leave with her,” Shepard paused. “You two should join us.”

“You really think she would be fine with that?” Miranda scoffed.

“If you come along, she’ll get you some ‘proper clothes’,” Shepard tilted her head to one side with a smile. “You could do the same for her.”

Miranda thought about it. “I’ll be fine as long as you’re there. Maybe I could buy some make-up too…” she turned to Samara. “Are you wearing lipstick, or is that your natural lip colour?”

Samara was taken aback by the question. She took a few moments to answer. “Oh. This is my natural lip colour.”

Shepard stared at Miranda, jaw dropped. “You want blue lipstick?”

“What?” Miranda’s cheeks tinted pink. “What’s wrong with having a little eccentricity?”

“But…why?”

“It’ll match my eyes, right?”

Shepard found that answer illogical. “That makes _no_ sense.”

“I know, I know…”

“Where would you wear the blue lipstick?”

“I don’t know…special occassions? Maybe when we go raving?”

“Raving? You mean rave parties? We still use that word?”

“I remember telling you that you’d be surprised with how many words we still use.”

“My translator has no proper translation for ‘rave’,” Samara interrupted, confused.

“One day I’ll take you out to do just that and you’ll find out,” Miranda promised.

Shepard blinked. “Rave parties still exist?”

“Yes.”

“And you actually go raving?”

Miranda was about to say something matter-of-factly, but paused and shut her mouth when she realized where this was going. Releasing her meditation, she peered up at Shepard suspiciously. “What are you saying?” Shepard’s smirk only widened and Miranda laughed. “God, don’t do that rape face.”

“I believe Shepard is meaning to say,” Samara offered, “that she didn’t expect you, of all people, to go to parties.” At this point, she smiled. “I must say I’m quite surprised as well. You definitely do not seem like the partying type.”

Miranda huffed, “I party, yes, but it depends on _where_ I party. The place has to be classy. Like me.”

Shepard rolled her eyes, eliciting a laugh from both Miranda and Samara. The commander stood up and stretched her arms, looking out the observation window, at the wonderful view of Illium. “Damn. What I wouldn’t give to live here.”

“I thought that as well, but alas it is as crime-ridden as anywhere else,” Samara said, almost in amusement.

“You could say that again,” Shepard grimaced, before making her way to the exit. “I’m pretty sure the ship is damn near empty with everyone on shore leave, so we should take our cue. See you in about an hour?”

“Sure,” Miranda smiled at the other as the airlock closed.


	6. Chapter 6

By the time they had done their shopping, the night cycle had already set down over Illium and the city’s light brought the place to life. Most of the crew was still missing and they probably wouldn’t be back until much later, spending time in clubs and hotels. Shepard didn’t blame them, they deserved some fun.

At the moment, she was packing away the things they had bought; a little black dress Miranda had picked out for her, the necklace Samara had recommended. The new prejek paddlefishes that Jack had gotten for her were already delivered to her aquarium and the cute, strange critters were swimming happily in her aquarium. Not to mention the wine, she’d store that somewhere safe for emergencies.

It was then the airlock opened and Shepard turned to see who it was.

Tali and Jack walked in, laughing over something they must’ve discussed over the elevator. Seeing their commander by her wardrobe, they acknowledged her.

“What’s this, Shepard? Jack here told me about the meetings you’ve had with her and Miranda,” Tali playfully questioned as the convict took a seat by the sofa, whereas the quarian approached the music player by the bed. “I’m offended you didn’t invite me.”

“Oh please, I was going to tonight,” Shepard rolled her eyes with a grin, “but apparently Jack already invited you first-hand. Welcome to the party.” Tali chuckled as she brought out her omni-tool and began transferring files to the player.

“By the way, I did research on human music. The instruments you have produce really nice sounds, so I hope you like them. I didn’t get any songs with lyrics, though. They might sound nice in human language but the words didn’t rhyme and sounded terrible when passed through my translator.”

Shepard folded her arms and raised a brow at her, remembering when Tali sang and danced with Jack in the shuttle. She wondered what language that song originally was, but the words rhymed to her. “Uh-huh.”

She walked over to the sofa and claimed her place next to Jack. She noted the bottle of wine on the table which Jack had brought with her—the one she had bought during shore leave. “So, where’s Miranda?”

“On her way up,” Jack informed, leaned back with hands laced on her stomach. “After telling Tali about our secret get-togethers, she suggested inviting Samara along, so the cheerleader might take her up with her.”

Shepard was surprised but didn’t oppose the idea. “Okay.”

Tali finished with the transfer and turned off her omni-tool, before pressing a button on the player to see if it worked. Instead of the strange music Shepard usually heard before, a symphony of familiar sounds reached her ears and she detected the human instruments used—saxophones, pianos, violins.

“This music reminds me of the ones I hear in jazz clubs,” Shepard commented, lips curving upwards as Tali took a seat next to her. “Thanks, Tali. Really.”

“It was my pleasure,” Tali said happily. “Your instruments are interesting.”

“Nice. But not my kind of music.” Jack contributed.

The airlock opened and footsteps entered the cabin. As expected, Miranda walked down the steps, with Samara behind her. The justicar’s eyes wandered the room.

“Hello, girls,” Miranda greeted casually, though Shepard didn’t miss the slight cheerfulness in her voice. She sat down on one of the two one-seaters.

Samara approached the group. “I had no idea the captain’s cabin was so large. It is unlike other ships I have been on.”

“Thanks,” Shepard smiled, nodding towards the other one-seater. “Sit down, Samara.”

“From what Miranda told me,” Samara started as she sat, “these meetings of yours have already taken place a number of times.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Jack confirmed. “We come up every few days. The last time we had a meeting like this was before we recruited Tali.”

“And now Samara and I are here to join the party,” Tali pointed out, slight sheepishness in her voice. “Hopefully, we’re not intruding.”

“Intruding?” Miranda smiled at her, as though the idea was ridiculous. “Oh no, you’re both quite welcome. Besides, it’s nice to…have friends.”

“The more the merrier,” Jack quipped. “Last time we met, we didn’t drink anything because we were out, but I promised the next round was on me.” At this point she lifted the bottle she procured from Illium.

“I see it is a promise you have kept,” Samara noted with a smile.

As they were distracted, Shepard had taken out five glasses for Jack to fill. Placing them on the table carefully, she realized something. “Wait, what about Tali? She’s dextro.”

Jack explained, “Yeah, I bought a drink just for her, but…”

“I don’t want to drink anything,” Tali finished for her. “At least not tonight. Maybe another time. But thanks anyway.” As Jack cracked the bottle open and filled out four glasses with rich wine, the quarian leaned back and asked, “So, what do you usually talk about?”

Shepard chuckled. “Just about anything. Depends on where the conversation leads us.”

“How about we review our shore leave today?” Miranda suggested, taking a sip. “Well, Jack, I admire your taste in wine.”

“Don’t admire me, admire the asari,” Jack waved it off. “This here is asari stuff, believe it or not. I read the description. Something to do with their honey from Thessia.”

“Ah, no wonder it tasted familiar,” Samara mused, smiling. “Suppose part of why you bought it is the bartender’s recommendation?”

“Oh, yes, Matriarch Aethyta,” Shepard grinned at the thought of her. “Now that’s one badass matriarch I actually like.”

“I agree,” Miranda nodded. “All those stories she shared with us while we were there. The air of easiness and friendliness made her easy to talk to. She’s…”

“Cool?” Samara offered. There was a tilt of tease in her voice, and she chuckled when Miranda glanced at her irritably.

“Say what you will, I think being a bartender is the best way to give wise advice to anyone,” Tali said cheekily.

“I second that,” Jack grinned. “Alright, what about that krogan with the awful poetry?”

“Yes, I remember,” Shepard laughed.

Tali lowered her voice best as she could and mock-sang, “O Blue Rose of Illium!”

Jack nearly choked on the way she exagerrated, and the quarian’s arm movements and voice filter wasn’t helping. Shepard began to laugh as Tali recited another line of his poem, causing Samara to chuckle and Miranda smiling hard as well.

“Okay, enough, enough, I feel _so bad_ for laughing,” Shepard sputtered as she slowed down her laughter as much as possible, wiping tears from her eyes. The mirth died down as she sipped her drink and said, “Besides, you have to admit it was cute.”

“You know how girls think serenades are romantic?” Miranda asked, lips parted, showing off pretty teeth. “Trust me, it’s the most… _awkward_ thing anyone could do to you.” Shepard noted it sounded as though Miranda knew from experience. Then she thought of Jacob serenading her, and that made Shepard choke.

“I can’t imagine how embarassed that asari shopkeeper must’ve been, but I agree, it was cute,” Tali uttered, chuckling softly. “But I never want to be in her place. If any man starts shouting crazy love poems, you can count on me getting the heck out of there.”

“Alas, Shepard convinced the shopkeeper to marry him,” Samara smiled at the commander after a few relaxed sips. “And earned us a discount. A nice play of charisma on your part, commander.”

“Thank you,” Shepard smiled back.

Jack grinned, “Damn straight, Commander Shepard, savior of the galaxy and your love life.”

Tali observed, “Speaking of which, I see Miranda and Jack are wearing those clothes they picked out for each other.”

Shepard looked at both of said women, just noticing they were in their black attire—the same clothes they had picked out for each other during their shore leave, as Shepard had promised them. “Huh, you’re right. So, how’d it feel, picking each other’s clothes out?”

“I couldn’t find any clothes big enough to hold that extra ‘cargo’ in her ‘trunk’,” Jack sneered, looking at Miranda’s outfit distastefully. “And you wouldn’t believe it, but the only clothes that could fit her were as tight as her white outfit. Only good thing I could say about it is the black and yellow doesn’t make her assets stand out much.”

Miranda rolled her eyes as Jack added, “And look, she already stitched the Cerberus logo on.”

“I think it looks good on her,” Shepard voiced out, before inquiring, “So, what about you, Miranda?”

“Well, it took some time but I found a decent shirt for Jack,” Miranda said, “And some matching dark bottoms. I didn’t have to spend much time, I just needed her dressed appropriately.”

“Right, you did a good job of covering my ink,” Jack folded her arms. “You also did a good job of picking that dress out for Shepard. Why aren’t you wearing it, commander?”

“Huh? Why should I?”

“Come on, it fits well with the necklace Samara recommended.”

Shepard contemplated, frowning. “Oh no, I’m not wearing that around the ship. Only wearing it for shore leave or something.”

“Ah, wouldn’t want anyone staring now, do you?” Tali teased.

“I don’t see what difference it would do, the men are already staring as she is,” Samara stated calmly as if that was nothing, but her sentence horrified Shepard. Seeing her expression, the justicar laughed. “You are beautiful, Shepard, there is no denying that. And from what I’ve learned, human males have a common trait—they tend to look.”

“Yes, but I’d appreciate it if you girls didn’t constantly remind me I’m being ‘checked out’,” Shepard shuddered, finishing her drink about the same time as Miranda. She refilled hers and the operative’s glasses.

“That reminds me of something on our To-Do list,” Miranda started as she leaned back. “Jack, I don’t suppose you remember our little plan of rounding the men up and… shall we say, ‘discipline’ them?”

“Of _course_ I remember. I came up with it.” Jack grinned.

Tali shifted in her seat. “This sounds dirty. What’s happening?”

Jack took the liberty of explaining her mischievous little arrangement. Tali’s expression was unreadable, naturally, but Shepard was surprised when she saw the growing amusement in Samara’s expression.

When Jack was done explaining, Tali chuckled, almost darkly. “Sounds good to me. As long as you promise to round up Garrus and Thane, too.”

“We’re rounding up _every_ man and putting up a show for the girls,” Miranda grinned. It was rare for her to reveal such mirth, but it was a good thing to see.

“We know in general what the men think of us, but what do we think of the men?” Samara mused, “The other members are certainly very interesting.”

“Talking about boys, now are we?” Tali leaned forward, interest piqued. Shepard could imagine her grinning under her helmet. “I’m game.”

“Okay, I’ll start,” Shepard voiced, smirking. “What do you guys think of Thane?”

The commander had overheard conversations. She knew their newest member intrigued everybody. She couldn’t see why though, perhaps many people found assassins sexy.

Jack spoke first. She held out a hand, “Okay first, before I say anything about him, I had _no idea_ he was a drell,” she threw an accusing glance at Shepard.

“Oh, tell me about it,” Tali agreed, rolling her eyes. She and Jack high-fived as she continued, “I mean, when I heard ‘Thane Krios’ I just thought, ‘oh, he must be a human with those strange last names all humans have’, but when he _really_ showed up? If it weren’t for my helmet my jaw would’ve dropped to the floor.”

“Yeah, gave me a heart attack when I realized he wasn’t human, because you didn’t mention _anything_ about his race,” Jack muttered as she drank.

“I keep forgetting only Shepard and I have access to dossiers,” Miranda said quietly, with a sly quirk of lips. “Jacob doesn’t like Thane.”

“Probably because Thane’s stealing his spotlight as ‘most talked about guy’ on the Normandy,” Shepard pointed out.

“He’s very spiritual and calm,” Samara said, tilting her head to one side as she continued thoughtfully, “And he’s biotic. Perhaps we may have some things in common.”

“Oh my god, even a seven-hundred year old has her eyes on him,” Jack laughed.

“Are you implying that you have your eyes on him, too?” Shepard shot back playfully. Jack replied with a smirk instead, leaving her answer vague. The commander sipped on her drink. “If you are, then I’d pity Grunt, because last I checked he had a _huge_ crush on y—“

Jack choked and began to cough uncontrollably.

Tali was just as shocked as the convict was. “Wait, _what_? Grunt has feelings for Jack? _Grunt?_ ”

Shepard looked at Miranda and Samara, who both looked just as surprised and interested. Suddenly feeling like a storyteller, Shepard smirked slyly. “Oh yes, he does. Didn’t you know? I brought him along when I went to get Jack for recruitment.”

“And?” Jack urged desperately.

“He said you were tiny when he first saw you, but, ohhoho, when you destroyed those YMIR mechs so quickly?” Shepard’s smile split into a grin. “I think he fell in love.”

The other four women leaned back, as though relaxing after passing the cliffhanger of an exciting story. Jack put a hand to her forehead, still in disbelief, as Samara chuckled. “Grunt and Jack? I’ve never head of krogan/human couples before but it seems quite fitting…”

“Wha—what? You ship me with him?” Jack stared at her incredulously.

“Well, he’s krogan,” Miranda suggested smugly. “That should make for… _interesting_ experiences.”

Tali blinked and grimaced. “Thank you so much for putting those pictures in my brain, Miranda.”

“I…uh, but he’s just a baby, technically,” Jack frowned, looking uncomfortable. Shepard almost laughed with how insecure the usually-confident woman was. “You’re sure about this, Shepard?”

“Oh, yes, I’d bet my life on it. Why? Plan on making him a potential love interest?”

“Ugh. He’s kinda cute, but I don’t know, I’d have to think about. For all I know, you might be talking bullshit so I ain’t saying anything yet.”

“Hey, if you kiss him on the cheek I bet that’d make his day. Or year.”

“I’d never do that.”

Samara’s face brightened. “I will be sure to dare you one day.”

“You guys are so mean,” Jack deadpanned. As they laughed, Jack snorted and waved the topic away. “Okay, you know what? I’m done with talking about boys for now. Just remembered Shepard’s fish.”

“What about them?” Miranda inquired.

The convict stood up and beckoned the other four to rise and follow. They complied, and Jack led them up to the stairs to where the aquarium was. “Okay, I bought eight prejek paddlefishes for Shepard here, and to make sure she feeds them properly, we have to name them.”

“Ooh, sounds good,” Tali agreed excitedly, putting her three-fingered hands on the aquarium. “You see that one over there? I’ll name it Tali.”

Shepard stared. “What.”

“Oh, name this one Victor,” Miranda insisted.

“Always with the classy names, huh?” Jack smirked at the operative, before gesturing a fish. “Name that one Jack.”

Shepard still didn’t know which was which. All the fish looked similar and she couldn’t tell where her friends were pointing.

“Why ‘Jack’?” Samara questioned, smiling lightly as she turned her gaze back to the fish. “Surely Jack isn’t your real name. It doesn’t suit your feminity.”

“Okay…what about Jacqueline? It’s one of the pseudonyms I used in the past.”

“Sounds better,” Samara approved. Then, she lightly tapped the glass to point out another paddlefish. “That one should be Falere.”

“Elegant name,” Miranda commented. “I guess I should expect it, coming from a graceful asari like you.”

“Thank you,” Samara smiled.

“Wait, guys, can we slow down?” Shepard interrupted their name-giving marathon. “I don’t know what’s happening. All the fish look the same to me.”

“I don’t think so. See this one here?” Tali pointed out two fish swimming closeby to each other, “Jacqueline here is sea green. Falere is more of a turquoise.”

“Yeah, and Victor’s eyes are higher on his face than this other unnamed fish here,” Miranda added.

Shepard still saw no difference.

“Speaking of which, since it’s swimming so close to Victor, I’ll name this other fish, too. From now on, this one is Miri.”

Her friends went on to name the other ones, with Shepard still being confused. The names given were Tali, Jacqueline, Victor, Falere, Miri, Eezo, Chatika and Rila, with each of them getting to name two. Apparently they forgot who owned the fish and didn’t leave any for Shepard to name.

“I’m still blur,” Shepard said finally, watching as Tali pressed the button to feed the fish. “You know what, since I own the fish, and they all look the same, I’m going to name all of them Thane.”

Samara, Tali, Miranda and Jack stared.

Shepard ignored them and gazed at her fish. “Aw, you’re all so cute. Listen, Thanes, I’ll _never_ forget to feed you like I did with the skald fish, okay?”

Miranda opened her mouth but paused, then slowly raised a hand. “One question: why ‘Thane’?”

“Because he reminds me of a fish,” Shepard said bluntly.

There was an awkward silence. Then, from Tali: “Okay, what about the hamster?”

They gathered around the cage and stared at the hamster next, watching the cute little critter. It huddled inside its little mini house, afraid of all the pairs of eyes looking at him. Shepard whispered something about it being really shy, then the quietness returned as she tried to think of a name.

Finally, after a few moments, Shepard decided. “Mordin.”

To that, all of them agreed, and Mordin the space hamster it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY FINALLY I got Samara and Tali in xD
> 
> Leave kudos! :D


End file.
